第２３話 ジェシーの断髪式 原題：Cutting It Close
冒頭より，
Jo: Trust me, Michelle. You are ready. Okay.
Come on down, you guys, everybody, come on out to the living room.
Hurry up! We gotta do this right now.
Hurry up! Come on. Come on. We gotta do this right now.
Da: Okay, what?
Jo: Michelle is ready for another try.
Ev: Hmmm...
Jo: Freeze.
St: She's just gonna do it to us again.
Jo: No she won't. I've been working with her all day.
Believe me, the kid is psyched.
Je: Alright, let's give the little uncle biter one more try.
Come on everybody.
Jo: Okay. Here we go.
Da: Come on, Michelle.
Ev: Ring around a rosy. A pocket full of posy.
Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down.
St: She did it again.
DJ: The kid's got a round mean streak.
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psyched《俗》《精神的に》用意ができて
posy 花束
round 遠慮のない, 露骨な
a mean streak (性格の)意地悪い傾向
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約５分２０秒後、
ジェスの髪を切ってしまって、落ち込むステフ。慰めるダニー。
Da: Steph. What are you doing?
St: Punishing myself. I'm sorry, toys.
I don't deserve to play with you anymore.
Here. Take Emily. Good bye, fun.
Da: Honey, you don't have to do this.
St: Yes, I do. I'm too dumb to have toys.
I don't deserve pillows, or a blanket, or sheets, too.
Da: Steph, you don't want to sleep on your mattress?
You'll wake up with those little button all over your back.
Look. You know Uncle Jesse knows you didn't do it on purpose.
So honey, there's no reason for you to feel bad. Come on. (smack!)
Let's go have breakfast.
St: I can't leave the room. I grounded myself till I'm 82.
Da: You are not grounded.
I'm your father and I'm ordering you to play with your toys. Here!
St: Daddy, please don't make me have fun.
Da: I'm sorry, honey. But someday when you are parent you will understand.
Now, come on. Have fun.
St: Hot dog!
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dumb 《口》ばかな, 愚かな
hot dog (俗) ワーイ, こりゃいい,やったー, すてき
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Da: Michelle, don't do that. Michelle, don't do that. Michelle. OK.
Why don't we play a little game called "Let's clean up our mess".
First we're gonna put Mr. Magazine back on Mr. Coffee table.
Can you do that? Very good. And now, we're gonna do what daddy always does.
We're gonna put them in order neatly.
We're gonna put the biggest magazine on the bottom.
That would be the Rolling Stone, of course. And now comes the tricky part.
Because People, Sports Illustrated, and Time, they are all the same size.
So, what'll we do? We alphabetize. Perfect.
And, then on the very top, sweetheart. Goes the TV guide. Go ahead, honey.
Put the TV Guide on top. The child is gifted.
Jo: Danny, don't turn this sweet little innocent girl into a compulsive
neurotic nut case like all.. well, you for example. OK. n-a-p, let's go.
Now. while you're sleeping, don't wrinkle your pajamas.
DJ: Dad, we finished the dishes. I stacked the saucers on the salad plates,
salad plates on the dinner plates, and the glasses by color and sizes.
Da: Good work, girls.
St: Daddy, I've tried really hard to have fun.
Now, can I please go back to being sad?
Da: Steph, you've been much too hard on yourself.
It was just a little chunk of Uncle Jesse's hair.
Not even a chunk, it was a chunkette.
Rh: Hi, come on in, Jesse.
DJ: Uncle Jesse, what happened?
Jo: Tell us what's going on here.
Je: I started leaving my parking..
DJ: Wait, wait. OK. What happened?
Da: I'll tell you exactly what happened.
Thanks to Mr. Stephanie's pretend hair cut,
I was forced to get a real one, which I hate.
And after that I hopped on my Harley, and raced it out the parking lot.(?)
I guess I was so upset I failed to see that little tiny sign that said,
"severe tire damage". I wrecked my bike.
Next thing I know, concrete sleeves.
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neatly きちんと,手ぎわよく
tricky 扱いにくい,油断ができない
alphabetize 〜をアルファベット順にする
compulsive 強制的な、やみつきの
neurotic 極度に神経質な、ノイローゼの
nut case ばか,きちがい
wrinkle 〜にしわを寄せる
stack を積み重ねる
chunk 大きいかたまり,たくさん
pretend 偽りの,見せかけの
wreck を破壊する,台無しにする
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約７分１０秒後、
DJ が落ち込むステフをダニーのところに連れて行くところ。
Je: Danny, open the back door.
Da; I got it.
Je: Open the back door.
Da: I got it.
Je: Now, slam it. Thank you.
DJ: Dad, Stephanie won't help Uncle Jesse.
Da: Steph, is that true?
St: I don't wanna break him. I will never wanna hurt Uncle Jesse again.
DJ: Steph, you didn't do anything to hurt Uncle Jesse.
St: I only scalped him, wrecked his motorcycle, and broke his arms.
No wonder he's so mad at me.
Da: Deej, why don't you go take a break?
DJ: Really? I'm off duty? Yes, Yes, Yes. Why am I still here?
Da: Steph, I can see why you might think that you are a little bit jinxed.
St: Jinxed? Daddy, I'm the kiss of death.
Da: Am I interrupting something?
Je: I don't wanna talk about it right now.
I'd leave, but I can't reach the gate hook.
Da: Jesse, there's nothing you can do about your arms.
But there is something you can do about Stephanie.
Je: What are you talking about?
Da: Steph is scared to death to go near you.
She's afraid she's gonna hurt you again.
Je: Tell the little rug rat she's wacko.
Da: I think you should tell the little rug rat she's wacko.
In maybe a little nicer way.
Je: You are right. Send her out here.
Da: Thanks.
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scalp 人に恥をかかせる,…の頭皮をはぐ
no wonder 〜は不思議ではない
jinx 不運をもたらす、台無しにする
kiss of death ：[the 〜] 一見ためになるようで実は破滅をもたらすもの
to death 死ぬほど,ひどく
rug rat《俗》 幼児, 赤ん坊, 子供, ガキ
wacko 頭のおかしいやつ,へんなやつ
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Je: Hey, babe.
St: Hi.
Je: You can come a little closer.
St: I'd better not. I'm dangerous. That's why you hate me.
Je: Stephanie Judith Tanner, I do not hate you.
St: Then why are you yelling and being so grouchy
and telling daddy to slam doors?
Je: Well, because I'm frustrated. You know what?
I've been feeling sorry for myself, and I've been acting like a baby.
I didn't mean to blame you. I'm very sorry.
St: You mean you're really not mad at me?
Je: No, I'm not. Stephanie, you made one little mistake.
Everybody makes mistakes.
I mean, look at me. I'm an expert bike rider, right?
I've never had one problem. I missed one little sign.
Boom! I'm a mummy man. Same deal with you.
I mean, how many pretend haircuts have you given?
St: Counting yours.. Million.
Je: See, you're an expert too. But you made one little mistake.
Stephanie, I promise, I'm gonna be as good as new, OK?
St: OK.
Je: Alright, now, you get over here, and you give me the world's biggest hug.
Lay it on me, baby. What? Do I have the cooties or something?
Come here. Sit on my lap. Easy. Go ahead. There you go.
All right, now. I'm gonna need your help.
St: What do you mean?
Je: Well, since I can't play my music, I was thinking of working on
some lyrics. That is if you could write them down for me.
St: I could do that, if I write about a dog, cat, tree, and Stephanie.
Je: Can you spell "Baby"?
St: B-A-B-Y.
Je: Good. Then we have a hit.
You know what the best part is about you helping me?
St: What?
Je: I get to spend more time with my little buddy.
St: I'm so glad you broke your arms.
Je: Hey.
St: Hey what?
Je: You're hugging me, and I'm.. uh.. not even hurting.
St: You're right. The curse is broken.
JS: Have mercy.
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yell どなる,大声をあげる
grouchy 機嫌の悪い
frustrate 人を失望させる、いらいらさせる
blame 責任を負わせる,〜のせいにする
boom ドカーンと鳴る音
mummy ミイラ
cootie 《俗》シラミ
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