第１５話 タナー家 本日休業 原題：A Pox in Our House
冒頭のコーラス隊が帰って。
Da: Steph. Stephanie honey, you OK?
St: I feel yucky.
Da: Honey, let's see if you feel any better if I move you over
to the couch, OK? Here you go. There you are. Now how do you feel, honey?
St: I still feel yucky.
Da: Hum. Let me check your forehead. I think she feels a little warm.
Je: Let me see that.
Jo: Here, let me see that.
Je: Let me see that.
DJ: I think they're all running a fever.
Da: She's really got a fever. Look at her. She's sweating.
St: Can I ask a question? Aren't I too young to get pimples?
Da: Oh-oh. Stephanie, those aren't pimples. I think they're chicken pox.
St: Chicken pox? I caught something from a chicken?
Da: No, honey you've probably just caught this from somebody at school.
Don't worry you're gonna be fine. Everybody gets chicken pox.
DJ: I had 'em.
Je: I had 'em.
Da: I had 'em, too.
Jo: I never had them and I never will. I'm immune to chicken pox.
Je: You can't be immune to chicken pox, huh?
Jo: Every kid in my school had 'em but me.
I guess when you are an awesome physical specimen like my own bad self,
germs take one look at my body and say, "Hey, why waste our time?"
Je: Women say the same thing.
Jo: That's right.
Da: OK. So I guess nobody here has to worry about catching chicken pox.
Oh my God, I got her.
St: I'm itching, I'm itching...
Da: Sweetheart, remember what the doctor said. No scratching.
St: How am I supposed to scratch with these on my hands?
Da: Honey, those help take away the itch. They're magic oven mitts.
St: Dad, get real. They're for TV-dinners.
Da: Any second now, your uncle Jesse'll be up here
with something to help stop the itching.
St: It better help. I got to be all better by tomorrow.
That's when a real ballerina's coming to dance for my ballet class.
Da: I know but if you wanna be better real soon,
you gotta get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids.
St: Rest, fluids, got it.
DJ: Hey, Steph. Here's your juice.
St: Keep 'em coming, DJ. This time orange juice but no pulp.
DJ: Wait till you get better.
Je: Alright. I found the calamine lotion.
約２分３０秒後、
ＤＪがミシェルの部屋にきたところです。
DJ: Dad, do I really have to sleep in the nursery?
It's way too cute in here.
Da: Stephanie needs a rest.
DJ, are you telling me that you aren't thrilled to death
to share a room with this little bundle of baby fun?
DJ: That's not fair.
Da: Good night, DJ. And good night, Michelle.
Something tells me I ought to check on Stephanie and kill Joey.
Good night.
DJ: Good night. Okay, Michelle.
Now how many people think Michelle should go to sleep?
I do. One to nothing. I win.
Now, go night-night, Michelle. Sleep tight.
Mi: Pa pa..
DJ: No, Michelle. This is not a slumber party.
I need some sleep. Lie down.
Mi: Uhh...
DJ: Now, Michelle, I mean it. Go to sleep. No bye bye.
Night-night. Sit. Lie down. This is a good finger.
Da: DJ, check this out. Da da da..
Maybe if I hold the ball still and I spin,
I'll actually create the illusion that I can do this.
DJ, hey, slow down.
You're not supposed to chugalug your cereal.
DJ: Sorry, they're picking me up in two minutes for my very first slumber party.
Da: I understand, but you also want your very first Heimlich maneuver?
Je: Morning.
Da: Oh, nice look, Jesse. Did your blow dryer short out?
Oh, Jesse, what's wrong with you?
Je: Nothing. I'm fine. Really. I'm fine.
Da: Good morning, Joey.
Jo: Oh, I got a fever, I'm sweaty, I'm chilly. Obviously It's malaria.
Look at all these mosquito bites.
Da: Those aren't mosquito bites. Those are chicken pox.
Jo: That's impossible, I'm immune.
Je: You're immune to common sense. Face it, you got the chicken pox.
Jo: O.K, but as soon as I'm over this, I'm immune.
Je: Hello, oh. Hello, mother. How was Palm Springs?
Yeah, fine, everything is fine here.
Except for Stephanie and Joey have the chicken pox.
What are you talking about? Mother, I had the chicken pox.
Remember how tough I was? It was an allergic reaction to wool?
But I was still tough. Yes, I know, fluids, lots of rest, no dating.
Good bye Mother.
Da: I'm in trouble. The station is counting on me to be with the Warriors,
and I got two baby sitters who can't go near the baby.
I've got to find a sitter.
DJ: Well, gotta go. I'll be right there.
You'll be fine, won't you, Dad?
Da: Honey, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me.
I'll just.. I'll start calling around.
There's gotta be, oh, at least twenty sitters in here
just dying to make a dollar fifty an hour.
Honey, you go, you go slumber party-hearty.
DJ: Dad, that was almost hip. Are you sure you'll be OK?
Da: I'm positive. Go, go, go.
DJ: OK. Bye.
Da: Great. I've got forty seven minutes to find a sitter.
Guys, I may be almost hip, but I'm definitely in trouble. Guys? Guys?
St: Good bye, chicken pox prison. Hello, ballerina. Yikes.
Jo: Oh.. Where is my beacon, eggs, toast, juice and tea?
Danny, where are you?
Da: On the phone calling sitters.
Jo: Oh.. All right, I'll give you a hand. I'll write down exactly what I want.
Oh, where the heck is a pen when you need one.
Oh.. must be sicker than I thought.
Da: Please, Derrick, you can't replace me. I've shut all the other footage.
I've done all the other interviews.
Derrick, I'm already wearing the suit. I look really cute.
Yes, don't worry, I'll be there. Right, thirty seven minutes.
Thirty seven minutes?
Jo: Danny.
Da: I'm coming. I wish chicken pox caused laryngitis.
I've got to find a baby sitter.
St: I'm history.
Je: Freeze. Well, well, well,... What have we here?
St: Hello, Mr. Cochran.
Je: And, hello to you, little stranger. Do I know you?
St: I'm my friend, Carin. I just came by to visit poor little Stephanie.
Je: Oh, that's very considerate of you, Carin.
St: She's missing a real ballerina.
Je: Uh.. Why don't you go upstairs and say "Hi".
As you know, Stephanie is very sick with the chicken pox,
and shouldn't be going anywhere.
St: Chicken pox? I better get out of here.
Je: Not so fast, Carin. It's too late. Probably, you already got it from me.
St: Uncle Jesse, you have the chicken pox, too?
Je: What was that, Carin?
St: I mean, Mr. Uncle. I mean Uncle Cochran. I mean Jesse.. Mr..
I mean.. I.. I.. I can't take it any more. It's me, it's me, Stephanie.
Je: Unbelievable! Stephanie.. I could've sworn it was Lauren Bacall.
Now, what are you doing out of bed, young lady.
St: I'm all better.
Je: Hum.. Then why are those little bumps all over your face?
St: Those are..my all better bumps.
Je: I wish they were OK, but we both know they're not. Now, come on.
St: Be careful, my chicken pox.
Je: Oh, yeah. All right. Now, Stephanie. Unfortunately, being sick
sometimes means having to miss out on something that you really want to do.
But the trick is, you've got to be tough, like your Uncle Jesse.
St: Does this mean you don't care about missing doo-wop show?
Je: Oh.. I gotta miss my doo-wop show.
St: Remember, what you told me, "Be tough, Gaaaaaa".
Je: ga... Come on, kid. I'll get you to pjs, all right? Here we go.
The chicken pox twins. Get the strut. Get the chicken strut.
Je: Joseph. It's just not fair.
Jo: Who ever said life is fair?
Je: Two grown men dabbing goop on their bodies, I call that unfair.
Jo: You think this is unfair? Let's talk about salmon, shall we?
Salmon wait their whole lives to swim hundreds of miles upstream,
make love once, and drop dead. Now, that is unfair.
Je: What the hell are you talking about?
Jo: I am talking about making the best of a situation.
Sure, I'm itching. But I'm itching with a smile on my face.
Itch. Dab. Itch. Dab. Itch. Dab, dab, dab.
Je: You, my friend, are a wimp.
Jo: You think that because I itch, I'm a wimp?
Je: No, there's quite a few other reasons, Joseph.
Jo: Let's just see who scratches first, shall we?
Je: Fine.
Je: Oh, that's a beaut up there on that forehead of yours.
(I) bet you'd love to take a rake to that baby.
Jo: Ooh, check out that red strobing strobile on your nose.
Yeah, yeah, that one. Yeah, if this was the month of December,
you'd find yourself pulling a sleigh full off toys, pal.
You know, I was wondering just what I would look like with a beard?
Je: Scratching.
Jo: I was wondering.
Je: You know, you got me wondering a little myself.
I feel a little hefty, uh, Joseph.
I mignt/Have I put any weight here?
Jo: Scratching.
Je: I was wondering. Just like you, wondering, wondering, wondering.
Even. These clothes are killing me!
Jo: You know, I got an idea.
Je: What?
Jo: If you scratch me,
Je: Yes.
Jo: And I scratch you.
Je: Huh?
Jo: Then we are both still tough guys, right?
Je: Tough! yet resourceful. Get my back.
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