第１２話 最高の誕生日 原題：The Big Three-O
冒頭より。
Jo: Alright, girls now, not one word about
your dad's surprise party tonight. Okay?
DJ: That means you, Steph.
St: What makes you think I'm gonna tell him?
DJ: Because you blew dad's surprise party last year.
St: I was only four. Give me a break.
Jo: Steph, this is an important birthday.
Your dad turns the big three O.
St: How much more than five is the big three O?
Jo: Well, here I'll show you.
This is you.. And this is your daddy.
St: Wow, he's almost a whole box old.
Je: Hey, bay.(?) It's Goodyear birthday blimp.
I had to take a couple of balloons off.
She was getting picked up by radar.
Come here. Alright your dad is on the way down.
Stephanie I heard about last year.
Do not spoil surprise party.
St: Man, one little mistake.
Da: Good morning everyone.
Ev: Happy birthday!
Da: Okay, it's been said. Now we can just move on,
and forget the fact that I'm .. I'm..
JJ: Thirty.
Da: Thank you. Okay anyway I don't turn uh.. turn..
JJ: Thirty.
Da: Thank you. I don't turn what you just said until 8:15.
DJ: Dad, it's 8:20.
Da: Oh my God.
DJ: Dad, this is a present from Michelle, Steph and me.
Da: Oh.. Look at this. DJ Stephanie Michelle's coupon book.
This is great. And you made it yourselves, I love this.
DJ and Stephanie will change Michelle's diaper.
Je: I'll hold onto this.
Da: I'm sorry, Jesse, they're not transferable.
And a free car wash for my car, Bullet.
Do you realize I bought that car ten years ago
on my twentieth birthday. You know, every time
I get behind the wheel and I put the down and
start blasting my self-improving tapes.
I feel like a kid again.
Je: Boy, you were born to raise heck.
DJ: Dad, that must be another birthday surprise.
Je: Come on, Michelle.
Da: Oh, look at them run. Did I ever run like that?
Jo: You bet. You always ran like a girl.
Je: Come on grandpa. I help you cross the living room forward.
Da: You know, you shouldn't be so cocky just because you're 24
and I'm... I'm...
JJ: Thirty.
Je: Come on Michelle, all right girls.
Tell our lucky contestant what's behind door number one.
Vaner Caramel(?). Tada.
Da: I won a man?
Je: Not just any man. Jimmy, tell him what he's won.
Jo: OK, Bob. Danny Tarner, you'll be riding in style
because you won your very own chauffeur-driven limousine for a day.
Yes, it's a streatch limousine, completed with a bar, TV,
telephone and a year supply of calenders. One.
DS: Ahhh.
Da: You guys have gone all out. This is terrific.
But I wish you hadn't gone to such a big expense.
Je: We didn't. I'm gonna fumigate his house for free.
I can't say it enough, God bless silverfish.
Hey, girls you want a ride to school in a limo?
DJ: I'd love to ride in a limo.
But can you take us somewhere else besides school?
St: Let's hit the mall!
DJ: Alright, Steph.
Da: You're going to school. Let's go, let's go.
Thanks for a terrific birthday. OK, I want one thing.
I want you to remember I do not want a party.
This will be our little secret.
JJ: OK, alright, fine, sure.
Da: I mean it. No party.
Je: Fine.... Back to the party.
Jo: Well, Bob, I think of the decorations *******
約４０秒後、
パーティーにステフとＤＪがオードブルを持ってやってきます。
DJ: Now, Steph. Do it just the way I told you.
St: DJ, I'm old enough to carry a tray of
appezizers.. alapizers(apperizers).. cheese sticks.
Excuse me. Do you care about cheese?
W1: Thank you, stephanie.
DJ: Steph, it's "Do you care FOR cheese?"
St: She took one, didn't she?
Je: Alright, good night. Thanks for dragging it home.
M : Sure, pal, good luck.
Je: Oh, poor Bullet. Maybe Danny won't notice.
Boy am I in trouble. Joey.
Jo: Jesse, what's wrong?
I've never seen your face that shade of green before.
I guess this must be serious.
Je: It is.
DJ: Uncle Jesse, is something wrong? I'm getting these vibes.
Je: Yeah, something's very wrong.
DJ: I knew it. This is great. I'm sorry but I'm developing
woman's intuition. It's a big step in my life.
Je: Listen, uh, your father's car has been in a little accident.
Jo: How little?
Je: Big little. Follow me. Come here. Would you guys take a look.
DS: Ooh.
St: You're dead meat.
Jo: Well, this is gonna take all the fun out of those seat covers.
What are you gonna do?
Je: What do you mean what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna do what I have to do. I'm gonna tell him the truth.
DJ: When we were in trouble,
we gabe dad we're-the-cutest-little-girls-in-the-world look.
Je: That may have worked for you, girls.
But I don't have those cute little dimples.
Jo: Oh, maybe if you put a pretty little bow in your hair or
something like that.
Je: Not funny.
W : Danny's coming up the steps. Come on.
Je: What'll we do?
Jo: OK, here's the plan. First we hide the seat covers.
Je: Hide the seat covers. Alright, now what?
Jo: OK, it's tough enough for Danny turning thirty.
It's his birthday and you gotta promise me you're not gonna ruin it for'im.
Je: OK, I promise.
Jo: Then we have to make sure that he has the best time he's
ever had in his entire life.
Je: Good. We'll do that.
Jo: Then in the afterglow you'll set him down and gently rip his heart out.
Je: Can't you come up with a happier ending?
Jo: Year, the car fairy shows up and makes everything wonderful.
W : Shhh! Quiet everyone.
Da: Let's see, fifteen of my friends cars parked right out front. I wonder..
EV: Surprise!
Da: I don't believe this.
EV: Happy birthday!
Da: Thank you, thank you. This is great. I love this. Everybody's here.
This is so nice. All my friends from the station are here.
Are we running a test pattern tonight? Cousin Ed. Oh, cousin Ed.
Caroline, why don't you run and ride in your fishing boat?
Ca: Oh, why, and miss your nineteenth birthday party?
Da: I'm so glad you're here.
St: Daddy, would you care for some cheese?
Da: Oh, yes, Stephanie thank you.
St: This is too easy. I'm ready for dip.(?)
Da: Oh, there you are. You birthday nuts.
I thought I told you no party.
Jo: Oh, you say that every year.
Da: This is the last surprise, isn't it?
Je: Well...
Jo: Danny, I just want you to know that Jesse deserves all the credit.
This whole party was his idea. Because he loves you.
Je: Right.
Jo: Always remember that.
Je: Please.
Da: Jesse, I know you hate when I hug you.
Je: Hey, I got an idea. It's your birthday, what the heck,
why don't I hug you this time, huh? Brother-in-law.
DJ: Say cheese.
JD: Cheese.
DJ: We'll call this the before picture.
約２分後、
ダニーが車を前にして愕然としているところ。
St: Daddy, are you all right?
Da: Of course, sweetheart. I'm fine.
Jo: That's the same smile Jack Nicholson had in The Shining.
Da: Uh, maybe it just needs a little touch-up paint.
Je: Danny, listen up. I'm gonna make this up to you.
I promise, I accept all the responsibility,
even though it was actually the fault of the Spanish missionaries
for being so dumb to build a city on so many hills that go up.
Da: Hey, pal, I'm fine. These things happen, Que sera sera.
Obladi oblada life goes on bra.
Je: Drop the act. I mean, every weekend you were out here,
polishing this thing and waxing this thing.
It's ruined. The outside is ruined. The inside is ruined.
The handle's actually in good shape.
Jo: Jesse, it's not about the hundreds of hours of labor
he poured into this car, it's about ten years of memories.
Danny, this car was with you through the tough years.
It drove you over to your first real job,
then it helped you raise a family. Man, this car was your twenties.
Je: That's good. We lost the phony smile. Very good. All right.
I was getting(?) ** get in touch with your.. your anger.
Man, let it all out, let it out, hit me, go ahead, hit me.
No, I've got a better idea, hit the car. Hit the car.
Let it go, let it go.. Go ahead.
Doesn't that feel better, huh? It feels good, right?
Da: I can honestly say that this is one birthday I will never forget.
Good night. Good night, girls.
DS: Good night.
Da: Oh, and, uh, thank you very much for the lovely seat covers.
Jo: Probably not the best time for birthday cake.
Da: Look, honey, it's Mr. Dog. What does Mr. Dog say?
I'm maybe holding the first woman president.
Yes, look, it's Mr. Pig. What does Mr. Pig say?
Close enough. Let's go for three.
Oh, it's Mr. Car. What does Mr. Car say? You're right.
He doesn't say anything, because he is dead.
Jo: Good morning. How are you guys doing?
Da: What are you doing up, so early?
Jo: I thought I heard Michelle crying.
Da: No, that was me.
Jo: Can I hold her?
Da: Sure.
Jo: Come here, sweetheart. Come on, buddy, cheer up.
It's just a car, actually it's a big wet long sculpture.
Come on, I dare you to look at this baby and not smile.
Hi, daddy, it's me, it's me. it's me, it's me.
Hi. Cheer up. There you go.
That-a-boy. See? Now, who cares about a car?
Da: Uh, Joey, it's more than just a car.
I'm talking about the big picture. Who are we?
Where are we going? And why do we have to get there so fast?
Jo: We're Joey and Danny, and we are going down into the kitchen.
And we're going there fast because if we don't, Jesse'll eat
all the microwave pancakes.
Da: You remember back in junior high school when we had wood shop
with Old Man Pafkow(?)?
Jo: Yeah, I remember that old geezer.
Da: Joey, Old Man Pafkow was twenty seven.
Seems like just yesterday, you were saying to me,
"Danny, I wonder what's like out there, in the real world,
getting a job, being a grown-up.
Jo: I did say that yesterday.
Je: Hello.
Jo: Hey, Jess.
Da: Jess, it's all right. Come on in.
Je: Hello, Michelle, Hello Michelle. Come here. Come here.
You still mad at me?
Da: Oh, I know what happened wasn't your fault.
Je: Alright, listen, I'm gonna make it up to you, man.
I promise. Joseph, go get dressed. We're taking a ride.
Jo: Where are we going?
Je: Are you gonna be home today?
Da: Where am I going? I got no car.
I'm an old man who just turned.. I just turned..
Je: Thirty.
Da: Thank you.
Je: Alright, you stay right here, I've got a big surprise for you.
Da: Please no more surprises.
Je: No, no. This surprise you are gonna love. Come on Joey.
Jo: Okay.
Je: Whoa! One more for the road.
Irresistible, I can't keep my lips off her tum.
Da: He is right. You have it for me.
約３分４０秒後
新しい車が来たところ。
Je: Danny! Daniel!
Da: Hey, guys. I am glad you're here. I've got some great news.
Je: So do we.
Da: Let me tell you mine first, OK?
Do you remember when I thought the only car
I could ever love was Bullet?
JJ: Yeah!
Da: Well, I was wrong.
Wouldn't I look good behind the wheel of a Jeep wagonier/wagon here?
Look at this. Rear track lock differential.
Soft ceiling radios. And anti-theft Ignition.
I can't wait to find out what these things mean.
Je: You can't be serious.
Da: Of course, I am. In fact I even called a dealership today and
started bidding on a car that was exactly like bullet.
And there was this other yo-yo there. They kept hiking up the price.
Crazy. So I just said, "Bye bye, bullet."
I went car shopping, and guys, I fell in love.
So tomorrow I am buying my first new car ever.
Jo: I hope you're not planning on using your insurance check.
Da: What are you talking about?
Je: Huh, it was our little surprise.
We, uh, we got you a birthday gift. Take a look.
Da: hahahah, Ohhhhh. You two were the yo-yos?
Je: Yo...
Jo: Yo.
Da: I love that car.
Jo: I thought you just said, "Bye bye Bullet."
Da: To the old Bullet, you have to move on in life.
Jo: So move on to your wagonier.
Da: Hey, what better symbol for the next decade
than a gift from my two best friends?
Birthdays aren't about numbers.
They are about who you spend them with.
You guys made this one great.
Je: Do you really want to keep the car?
Da: Absolutely. Thank you.
JJ: Huh! Happy birthday, again!
Da: You know, it really feels nice, for the first time,
it feels great to be thirty.
Je: He said it!
Jo: Oh, yes. So what are you gonna name him, Bullet junior?
Da: Come on, Joey. A thirty-year-old man doesn't name his car.
Da: Go get the kids. Let's go for a spin.
Je: Alright. Let's go get'em. Stephanie! DJ!
Da: I'll be right back,....Walter.
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