第６話　今日はパパの日　原題：Daddy's Home

冒頭より。

DJ: Now, Michelle. Stay right here.
    Where're you gonna go? You're in a baby jail.
Jo: I am ready for Stephanie's recital.
    Do you think the shirt and tie go?
DJ: Well, I think the shirt and a tie should go.
St: One two three four.. One two three four..
Jo: Stephanie, you've been rehearsing for three days
    straight, you're this close to ballerina burnout.
DJ: Stephanie?
Jo: Stephanie?
JD: Stephanie?
St: I am not Stephanie.
    I'm a swan who's about to kick the bucket.
Jo: Oh, God. There's a dead swan in the living room.
St: Joey. I'm alive. I was just acting.
Jo: No, get out of town. Unbelievable!
St: Uh-oh. That's daddy. I don't want him to see
    me in my tutu until show time. Yikes!


Da: Sorry I'm late. I was editing my feature on Great Moments
    on Bowling, and I got held up when I couldn't find a second moment.
DJ: Oh dad, after Stephanie's recital we hit the big sales
    at the fashion mart. Everything is half off.
Da: Of course, that doesn't save me any money,
    'cause you'll just buy twice as much stuff, right?
DJ: I like your attitude. 
Je: Saturday afternoon, I'm all dressed up. Where am I going?
    A munchkin ballet.
DJ: Uncle Jesse, hot outfit. Help Joey.
Je: Very sharp, Joseph. Where are you going after the ballet,
    Don Hoe's wedding?
Ad: Chao!
Da: Jesse, it's for you.
Jo: How do you know she is not here to see me?
Ad: Jesse.
Je: Adriana, have mercy. How are you?
Da: If she's here to see you, she's very nice to your friend.
Je: I'm gonna introduce you to my roommates.
    This is Danny Tanner, and this is King Kamehameha.
    You guys will never guess right where I met this girl.
Da: A PTA meeting?
Je: Close, skydiving.
Ad: He missed the target, and dropped right into my Alpha Romeo.
Je: Dropped right into my Alpha, I love that.
    Anyway she asked me to come back to her place, and
    turned out her place was in Rome, who would've known?
    Come on, I'll make you some spaghettios.
Ad: Alright.
Jo: The guy is amazing, he takes off just like that goes to Rome?
    No toothbrush, no clean underwear. What a life!
    Now, that is my fantasy.
Da: You fantasize about having bad breath and dirty underwear?
Mi: Ah...
Da: Michelle. Hi, Michelle. Ah... Hi, say Dada! Say dada!
    Say dad! Say da da da da... She's so close, I can feel it.
    Say dada Come on!
Jo: Dada, O.K? Now get off my back.
Da: Hello. Really? The station wants me to cover the game of the week?
    That's great! Uh.. no, that's not great.
    Look, my little girl is having her first ballet recital.
    Any chance Stanford and UCLA could delay the kick off?
    You know like, three, four hours? Hey I took a shot.
    All right, Yeah, I'll be there.
St: Are you gonna miss my recital?
Da: I'm really sorry, honey, I feel terrible.
DJ: It's O.K., dad! Me and Steph understand you have to work.
    But it's great having our dad on TV, right Steph?
St: Yeah, that part's fun.
Da: I guess this means we're gonna miss the big sale, too.
DJ: That's O.K, we can go some other time, and pay full price.


Je: Can I help you?
Jo: I need to talk to you.
Je: Go ahead, talk.
Jo: So, here's what I'm thinking. I think I need to make some changes my life.
Je: Bran, eat more bran.
Jo: What I mean by change is more danger, more excitement, more Adriana.
Je: I'll be right back.
Ad: I'll be right here.
Je: Come here, come here, come here. What do you want?
Jo: I want your life. Were you always like this?
Je: No I wasn't always like this. I was like you, then I turned four.
    I remember man, my dad got me my first bike,
    sailed in the driveway, ripped off the training wheels,
    packed a bag, and took off to adventure.
    (If) my dad hadn't've snagged me, I would've made it all the way
    to Dairy Queen.
Jo: See, I love that story. That's what I want. A life without training wheels.
Je: You know something, kid? I like you. I think I can give you that life, 
    but you gotta understand, when you're talking about a life like mine,
    you're talking about living on the edge, man,
    you're talking about taking risks, you're talking about buying
    a new wardrobe. Are you, Joseph Gladstone,
    ready to make that kind of commitment?
Jo: I am ready to be committed.

ダニーの帰宅、ファッションショーなどを飛ばして、
２分３０秒後、ミシェルが Dada と口に出すところから。

Je: You're gonna be such a fox when you get older.
Mi: Dada?
Da: Jesse, my little girl just called you "Dada".
Je: On, no no, she didn't call me dada as she called me uh she called me Dodo.
    Uh, here, here's your dad. There, lay it down on him. Come on!
Da: Hi, remember me? Remember? I'm your biological dada.
Je: Come on, you little moppet.
    Oh, man, that guy is really asking for a dada,
    can't you give him a dada? Come on. I'm your uncle, Jesse.
Mi: Dada.
Je: I'm not your dad.
Jo: Here, give me the babe.
Mi: Dada.
Da: Here, hi, it's me. Dada Da da da... dada. My sweet little baby, my 
    own flesh and blood, thinks that you two are her father. Oh my god!

Da: My little baby doesn't have the foggiest idea who I am.
Jo: How many of us really know who we are?
Da: This is all my fault. I'm working too many hours.
    I've gotta spend more time with my children.
St: Uncle Jesse bought us these to go clubbing.
DJ: Can we keep'em, dad?
Da: Dad? She called me dad. Uh… Girls,
    I am taking all three of you out for father-daughter day.
St: All right, daddy.
Da: She called me daddy, too.

３分５０秒後、ジョーイがアドベンチャーから帰ってくるところです。

Jo: Shee…. Safe.
Je: Ho, ho, ho. It's your last Christmas.
    Tell Santa what kind of tombstone you want.
Jo: Jesse….
Je: I said once around the block. Once around the block, where were you?
Jo: Jesse, I can explain everything.
Je: Do you know what once means? Do you know what once means?
Jo: Hi, girls.
Je: Oh, Yeah. Like that old trick's supposed to work.
DJ: Hi, Uncle Jesse.
St: Hi, Joey. Hi, uncle Jesse.
Je: Hi. Girls. How are you? I was just welcoming home Joseph.
Da: Girls, let's give the boys a moment to get reacquainted.
DS: Woo..
Da: Woo..
Je: All right, speak geek. You'd better have one hell of a story.
Jo: Jesse, as soon as I left the driveway, your sprit entered my body.
    I knew that it was your sprit, because my hair expanded.
Je: All right, all right, quit sucking up and tell the story.
Jo: Then she appeared. Five eleven, dress from head to toe in red leather.
Je: And what did my sprit tell you to do?
Jo: I threw the babe on the back of the bike, poped a wheelie,
    and said, "Have mercy".
Je: That's my sprit, that's my sprit. See….
Jo: Then we cruised into Vegas. Checked into Caesars, hit the crap
    tables, hour and a half later, I'm up fourteen thousand dollars.
Je: Fourteen thousand dollars? A lot of money, and you have a pretty girl,
    did you.. uh.. you know..
Jo: Yup. We got married. Then it got interesting. We hopped on a
    jet for the Big Apple, helicoptered into Manhattan where we quickly
    produced a revival of the Broadway smash, "Porgy and Bess."
    You don't believe a word of this, do you?
Je: Not a syllable.
Jo: Well, let's give the truth a word.(?)
Je: O.K.
Jo: I met a girl who lives just down the street. Uh… She wasn't
    dressed in red leather. She had a nice wallet. So we went to her
    place, uh.. Where I did win fourteen thousand dollars.. in monopoly
    money. Then I fell asleep on her couch. You believe that, don't you?
Je: Yeah, I have to. You put a mile and a half on the bike.
Jo: Jesse, I'm sorry I was gone so long. I hope I didn't let you down.
Je: You didn't let me down, maybe you didn't have a wild and crazy adventure,
    but you had a cute little adventurette.
Jo: You know what I found out? No matter what I wear or what I'm riding on.
    I'm still gonna be Joey, you know something? That's OK.
Je: You're dumn right. It's O.K. All right, Big Joe stud.(?)
Jo: Yeah, I guess I am pretty studley.
    O.K. Out of my way, dude. I'm going upstairs and take a bubble bath. 


St: Daddy, I love father-daughter day.
Da: Me too, sweetheart.
    But tomorrow it's back to the real world.
    I go back to work, and you girls go to school.
St: Uh.. fudge.
Da: Good night.
St: Night.
Da: Great day, ha, Deej?
DJ: Yeah, major fun.
    It was one of the best days of my life.
Da: You don't sound all that happy.
DJ: I'm happy, honest. See, these are happy teeth.
Da: I've known that face since it was the size of a tennis ball.
    That is not a DJ happy face.
DJ: Dad, for the last time I'm happy.
    Happy, happy, happy, Okay?
Da: Okay. Uh.. Steph, honey,
    I bet you wanna get yourself a glass of water.
St: I'm not dumb. You want me to leave. Something's wrong.
Da: Sweetie, I promise if something's wrong,
    we'll make it all better.
St: All right. But if you need me,
    I'll be in the bathroom drinking water and waiting.

Da: DJ, what's going on here?
    You don't have to put on a happy act for me.
DJ: It wasn't for you. It was for Stephanie.
Da: Well, Stephanie's not here, honey. What's going on?
DJ: It's just hard being brave for my little sister all the time.
    Like when you couldn't take me shopping, I felt terrible.
    But I couldn't show it because if I did,
    Stephanie would cry about you missing her recital.
Da: DJ, you are terrific big sister.
    But no one has to put on an act in this house.
    Now what's bothering you?
DJ: I don't know. Today was so much fun.
    You took us horse back riding, to the circus,
    to marine world. But I kept getting sadder and sadder.
Da: What part depressed you the most?
    The circus clowns or shmoo?
    Honey, maybe you were sad for the same reason I was.
DJ: You were sad, too?
Da: A little bit. Because the more fun we had,
    the more I hated to see it end.
DJ: I wish we could have days like this all the time.
    I really love being with you.
Da: I love being with you, too.
    But there's no easy answer here.
DJ: I know you have to work.
Da: I wish I could be in two places at once, but I can't.
DJ: You know, I feel better.
Da: You do?
DJ: Yeah, we didn't solve anything,
    But just talking about it helps.
Da: And (it) helps me too. DJ, I promise.
    I'm gonna find more time to spend with you girls.
DJ: And anytime you want to see me,
    you can always pull me out of school,
    especially if you wanna see me during math class.
Da: Uh, that's a DJ happy face.
    Come here, little tennis ball head.

Da: Hi, honey. You may not remember today.
    But it was one of the best days of my life.
    I love you Michelle. Good night Sweetheart.
Mi: Dada.
Da: Yeah!

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