第４話　パパたちのお掃除大作戦　原題：The Return of Grandma

冒頭より。

Jo: Cereal, cartoons, pajamas.
    This is why god created created Saturday.
DJ: Let's watch MTV.
St: No, let's watch Bugs Bunny.
Jo: But Steph, Bugs Bunny is kid's stuff. We got to watch Yogi Bear.
St: But I like Bugs Bunny.
Jo: Yeah, but Steph, every episode is the same.
    Elmer Fudd says why you pesky rabbit. Then he takes a shot at Bugs.
    Then Yosemite Sam comes in, whhh, I hate that rabbit.
    And he takes a shot at Bugs, I mean, with all that shooting going on,
    I don't know why Bags ever pops his head out of that hall.
    Let's face it. The rabbit has a death wish.
St: Better than watching Yogi steal the same picnic basket. Boring.
Da: Good morning, kids.
EV: Hi, dad.
Da: I don't really see you eating cereal out of pots
    with wooden implements, do I?
DJ: Yes, you do.
Da: Great. After breakfast why don't we just take this
    laundry down to the bay and beat it against some rocks?
    Joey, can you come with me right now into the kitchen, please?
Jo: What? now? I'll miss the start of Yogi.
Da: It's not Agatha Christie. You'll catch up.
Jo: Girls, take accurate notes.
Da: Woo, it's Howdy Dirty time. Joey, the deal
    we made was this is your week to take care of the dishes.
Jo: I'm just waiting till the dishwasher's full.
    There now we won't be wasting water.
Da: Of course we won't. There's no room for water.


Je: Boy, what a night! 
Da: Jesse, ************* what's going on here.
    You told me you were gonna take them to the laundry.(?)
Je: I did. I did mine.
Da: What about everybody else's laundry?
Je: Looks to me like they haven't touched it the lazy bums.
    Fellows. Let me tell you about this story, alright.
    Last night my band's playing this gig in China town,
    uh, Sweet-and-sour Sixteen party if you will.
    Anyway, I'm cruising home on my Harley, right,
    I come to a red light, I stop.
Da: Great story.
Jo: Oh. You told it great.
Je: Fellows, I'm building, I'm building... Anyway, the
    light turns green, right, I try to move, I can't.
    There's something wadged under my tire.
    Just then, this runaway street cleaner comes boiling(?)
    through the intersection right where I would've been.
    I came this close to be in a really clean dead guy.
    Fellows, I'd like to introduce to you a little dude
    that saved my life. Baba. I love this amphibian.
Da: You just hate coming home alone, don't you?
Je: I gotta get my guitar. Hold Baba, keep him happy.
    It just may save your life.


DJ: Joey, where are you?
Da: Don't let the girl see him now. We don't wanna keep him.
Jo: Hide him. Hide him.
Da: Where?
Jo: Here. Under the pot.
Da: Under the pot. Great idea. ... Okay.
Jo: Okay. I don't see a turtle.
Da: Act casual.
Jo: Alright, nonchalant.
Da: Good word, nonchalant.


DJ: Joey, Yogi may be smarter than the average bear,
    but he's much dumber than the average three-year-old.
St: What's that?
Da: Oh, that? That's uh... It's dinner.
    It's roast beef, yeah, roast beef.
DJ: And where is our roast beef going?
Jo: It's going to the oven.
St: Hahh.. Roast beef comes from turtle?
Je: Not with(?) my turtle, it doesn't.  I love this amphibian.
St: I love him, too. Can we keep him?
Je: Of course we can keep him. Barbar is a hero.
DJ: Uncle Jesse, we'll take care of him for you?
Je: Alright.
Da: Are you sure, honey? It's a big responsibility.
DJ: No problem.
Je: Let's go get Baba settled. He looks a little pasty.
St: What a great day!
    We get a turtle and grandma's coming to visit.
Da: Stephanie.
St: Wahh.
Da: Sweetheart, honey. Baby.
    Did you just say, "grandma's coming"?
St: That's what she said on the phone.
Da: Oh, why didn't you say something?
St: Nobody asked me.
Da: Steph. It's not possible for me to ask you every question.
    Do you know how many questions there are in the world?
St: Eight.
Da: What time is grandma coming, honey?
Jo: Her plane gets in at five twelve, sugar-hips.(?)
Da: Sweetheart, go upstairs and play with Barbar.
    Joey, how did you know about my mother?
Jo: I answered the phone when she called.
Da: Oh, why didn't you say something?
Jo: Nobody asked me.


Je: I found a home for Baba. It's calm, cool, comfortable.
    Nobody flush, OK? Alright, I'll shred him lunch.
    I'll swat him dessert.
Da: Jesse, forget about the turtle. My mom's on her way.
Je: Hey, your mom's coming back already. She's just moved out of here.
Da: I know that but she's coming back to check up on me.
    She doesn't think I can take care of things.
Je: Woo..the place looks great.
Da: You don't understand.
    All my life I had somebody take care of me.
    First it was my mom. Then I got married. It was Pam.
    For the first time I wanna prove to my mom and to myself
    that I can take care of my family on my own, by myself, just me.
    That's why I desperately need your help.
Je: What do you want us to do?
Jo: Yeah.
Da: Jesse, take another shot at the laundry.
Je: All right.
Da: Joey, see if you can wedge some detergent into the dish washer.
    I'm gonna mop the floor.
Je: Bad news Daniel, we're out of detergent.
Jo: We ditto on the dish soup.
Da: And we're out of floor wax. Let's go shopping.
Je: Woo, you're in the pajamas.
Da: Oh, I know I just woke up. Oh, I get it.
    I got to go put clothes on.
    Gee, I wish you could wear pajamas at the market.
Jo: He may need his mother.

みんなで買い物に出かけるシーンを飛ばして、
約１分３０秒後。

Da: Coming up.
Jo: Coming up.
Je: It's up.
Da: Coming up.
Jo: Coming up.
Je: Don't we have one of these?
DJ: I'll take Michelle.
St: I hate this thing.
Da: Only five hours before my mom shows up. Now, here is the plan.
    I'll do the kitchen, Joey, you do the living room.
    Jesse, you take the bedrooms. Now, who's gonna do the toilets?
JJ: Oh girls.
St: Get it up, Baba, get it up. Come on, come on...
Jo: Can I go next?
Je: Look at Baba. Have you ever seen a turtle let go with kids?
Da: D.J., go put Annie Oakley in her bunkhouse.
    Jesse, find a kraal for Trigger.
    Joey, I'm all out of cowboy metaphors, so let's put away
    the glove. I was wrong, I had one left.
Jo: Danny, we've been shopping all morning.
    How about a little Yogi break?
Je: Sit down with your family here. Relax, watch the bear.
Da: All right, all right, but we're just gonna watch
    until Yogi steals a picnic basket. O.K. He's got one.
Cl: Hi, yay, yay...
DS: Grandma!
Da: Oh my god. 
Cl: Oh my god. My grand daughter is a turtle.
Jo: Michelle needs your love now more than ever.
Je: Give me that, this turtle saved my life. Baba, Clare. Clare, Baba.
Cl: Hi.
Je: I love this amphibian.
St: Isn't he cool?
DJ: Pat his head, Grandma, he really likes that.
Cl: Oh, he is a reptile.
Je: Hey, back off. He's been nothing but nice to you.
Da: Mom, what are you doing here so early?
    Joey said you'd be in at five twelve.
CL: Try 1205.
Jo: I guess you have to find out sooner or later.
    Ha..., My name is Joey, I am a timed dyslexic.
    I would've told you earlier,
    but uh..I'm just not sure when earlier is.
CL: Girls, will you just go on upstairs and clean your room?
St: How did she know our room is a mess?
DJ: Grandma vision.

またここで少し飛ばして、
約１分１０秒後、ママが３人揃うところから。

Je: Your mom called our moms?
Ir: Hello, Jesse.
Mi: Hi, Joey.
JJ: Hi, mom.
Cl: Yes,  I thought that Irene and Mindy would be very
    interested to see how you boys keep house.
Mi: Uh, huh.
Da: OK, piano man. Why don't you show the wimp how to tickle 
    those ivories.
Je: Ma.
Ir: Jesse.
Je: Can I make some tea?
Da: Bravo, bravo.
Ir: No, tea. Thank you. Oh, tuck in your shirt.
    Oh, Jesse, I remember when you were eight years old.
Je: Oh, ma, please don't tell that story.
Da: Oh, no, tell, tell. We love stories.
Ir: I'll never forget it. My little Jesse tugged on my apron
    and said, "Mommy, can I please help you iron?"
    I said, "Sure, finish this sleeve."
    Must've been like when Babe Ruth picked up his first bat.
    To this day he's the only one I trust with my chiffon blouses.
Jo: To iron or wear?
Je: Hey, man, to iron.
Cl: Alright. Enough of this talking, now you boys have a lot of
    work to do. So where's the vacuum cleaner?
Jo: Oh, vacuum cleaner? We'll handle this.
    Uh, mom, let's show'em the Hoover.
Mi: Great. You're just gonna love this.


Cl: Uh, Mindy.
Mi: Oh, of course. Ah, now Joey.
    There is a time to have fun and a time to be serious.
Cl: Listen girls. I think that one of us should be here at
    all times to see if the things go properly.
    So, I mean, after all, this is where our grandchildren live.
Ir: You're so right. I can be here Monday through Wednesday.
Mi: Well, I'm free Thursdays and Fridays.
Cl: Oh, that's wonderful. And I can fly in on the weekend.
    So it's all settled.
Ir: Terrific.
Da: Boys, we're staring into the jaws of never ending
    living hell.
Ir: What?
Da: No offense.
Jo: Moms I don't blame you for treating us like children,
    I mean, 'cause sometimes that's how we act.
Je: Yeah, listen, girls.
    We moved in here, we know we had some responsibilities to do.
    But we haven't really [followed/fallen up] through an end.(?)
    And from now on, we are really gonna buckle down.
Da: Mothers, I have a proposition for you.
    You all go shopping for a couple of hours.
    And if this place isn't clean by the time you get back,
    you can all move in here and just run our lives forever.
    Deal?
MS: Deal.


Da: Okay. There's the bath room.
Je: Yeah, here's the bath room.
Jo: Same place it was last time we didn't clean it.
Da: Here's a thought.
    Why don't we see if the girls have finished cleaning their room?
Je: Loving it, loving it.
Da: What happened?
Jo: There's been a bedroom tornado.
St: We lost something.
Da: Might that be your minds?
DJ: We lost hmmm.
Je: What exactly is hmmm.
St: Hmmm is what you say when you don't wanna say, Baba.
Je: You lost Barbar?
Da: He loves that amphibian.
DJ: We're really sorry.
    We turned our backs for one minute and he was gone.
Da: It's okay, girls. I'm sure Barbar is somewhere in the house.
Je: Alright, guys. We're gonna turn this house upside down
    until we find that turtle. Ready, go.
Ev: Baba!

掃除をして踊っているシーンなどを飛ばして、
約３分後。

Da: OK, guys. We made it with five seconds to spare.
    Come on, everybody up? Let's go. 5..4..3..2..1..
Cl: Oh, we completely lost track of the time.
    Oh, it's immaculate.
St: Grandma, Irene, does this mean hell is freezing over?
DJ: Shhhh.
Da: Go on. Find a spec of dirt or microbic filth.
    I double-dare you.
MS: OK.
Je: Hey, oh, oh, girls. That's  ********.
    I take grandma goodies and you take'em right upstairs,
    put'em in the toy box, now.(?)
St: Wow.
DJ: And he used to be the easy one.
Je: Hold it, hold it.
    You're about to enter a sterile environment.
Da: Don't even think about it.
    Ma, what about those creases, huh?
Ir: Jesse, you still have your touch.
Da: Perfect. Everything is just perfect.
Jo: Look, mom, you could eat off these dishes.


Cl: Congratulations, I am really proud of all of you.
Wo: Sorry, bank's closed. Can you pay me in cash?
Jo: Mom, I'd like you to meet my fiancee, Jennifer.
Ir: You are gonna give me a grandchild?
Wo: Not for this kind of money.
Da: Here you go, Mrs. Sinsky. Thanks for everything.
    See you next week end.
MS: Humm.
Da: O.K. So, we had a little help.
Je: Just with the hard stuff and the toilets.
Jo: We'll make a great team.
Da: From now on, things are gonna go a lot smoother around here.
Cl: I'm sure they will. Does that mean you won't need us any more?
Jo: Woo, they are good.
Je: Of course, still we still need you.
    You girls come by and visit any time.
Cl: O.K, listen, I have to admit that I was little worried about
    how you boys were managing the girls, but,
    well, you may be a little sloppy, but
    those kids are getting a lot of love.
Da: Oh, thanks mom.
DJ: Uh.. This is nice. I wish Baba was here to share this.
St: I found him. I love that amphibian.

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