第１話 ごちゃ混ぜ家族誕生 原題：Our Very First Show
まず、冒頭より。
Da: Let's go, mom. Your bags are on a cab, the meter's running.
Mo: The baby's sleeping like a baby.
Oh, my angels. Oh, I'm going to miss you.....
Da: Your grandma's really gotta go.
Oh, boy, does(?) grandma gotta go.
Mo: Oh, you know, Danny, Danny, I don't have to go back home.
DS: Yeaah!
Da: Uh, mom, this isn't how we rehearse this last night.
Uh, let's take a little walk, Okay?
Now, you know, as well as I do that...
Mom, look, it's time to go home.
You've been taking care of us ever since Pamela died.
I don't know how we would've made it to
the past three months without you.
But, Dad needs you too.
You remember dad, don't you?
Your husband? Kind of balding and glasses and..
wears his baxer shorts up around his neck?
Mom, I got everything under control, helpers are moving in today.
Mo: Well, if you need me, I'm on the next plane.
Da: Thank you, mom.
Mo: Okay.
DS: Bye, grandma.
Da: Bye, mom.
Mo: Bye.
DS: Bye.
Mo: Oh, my angel. .. I love you. Hey good bye, sweetheart.
St: Good bye, grandma.
Mo: Hi, bye.
DS: Bye, grandma.
Da: Okay. Are we gonna have fun or what.
He,he,hey let's see some smiles.
Everything's gonna work out super great.
Your uncle Jesse's moving in.
My best friend Joey is moving in.
And your know what?
That means that you two are gonna get to be roommates. *1
Isn't that exciting?
St: I can wear all DJ's clothes.
DJ: Do I have to share my room with her?
Da: Honey, it's gonna be just like having a slumber party.
DJ: Yeah, with only one guest who never leaves.
Je: Hey, hey, look alive! Uncle Jesse's here.
Ev: Uncle Jesse..
Je: Alright. DJ, how are you doing? (Is) the tooth coming yet?
DJ: Na.
Je: It's OK. (It) won't lesson(?) the brush.
Da: Hey, Jesse.
Je: Hello.
Da: You missed breakfast. Where've you been?
Je: I know, I'm sorry. Last night after my gig at the Smash club.
I go for a cruise on my Harley, right?
Next thing I know I'm in Reno.
It was dark. Who would've known?
Then I happen to wander into the show, razzle-dazzle 87.
Much better than razzle-dazzle 86 by the way. I see this
incredible showgirl, Benessa, right? Our eyes meet. Baboo!
There's a lightning ball of passion shoots across the casino.
Turns out Bennessa's on her way to the Philippine.
She's doing a Bob Hope special.
And is dying for one last night of good all American...
Da: Food, food. She was. She was hungry, right?
Je: Oh, yeah. She was starving.
Only we never got a chance to eat because she had to turn a *****.
St: Uncle Jesse. Let's play ballerina.
Je: Uncle Jesse doesn't wanna play ballerina.
St: Yes, he does.
Je: No, he doesn't.
St: Yes, he does.
Je: No, he doesn't.
St: Yes, he doeeessss.
Je: How do you play ballerina?
St: Dance!
Je: OK, that was fun.
St: Here's more fun. Catch me. Pose.
Je: Pose. OK.
St: Turn around.
Je: Alright.
St: On your tippy toes.
Je: Tippy toes, right.
St: You need practice. We'll do this everyday.
DJ: Hi, Joey.
Jo: Hi, Danny.
Da: Oh, Joey, buddy. This is the best you're moving in.
Jo: Thanks, Danny. This works out so perfect.
I move into a place with a washing machine
on the exact day I run out of the clean clothes.
Jesse, long time no see. Now be honest.
Did you ever think we'd end up being room mates?
Je: Not once.
Jo: I love this guy. Danny, there's no way all my stuff would
fit into a room this tiny.
Da: Joey, this is not a tiny room. This is a large alcove.
In fact this is a large alcove that you're living in for free.
Jo: No, now that I take a close look at it,
it's enormous, enormous, enormous...
We're gonna have so much fun, aren't we kids?
Hh, khkhkhkh...mhhh..mhhh...
DJ: Do you think we could catch grandma at the airport.
ここで少し空き １分２７秒後
ＤＪとステフが部屋を分けているところ。
DJ: Rule number one, never touch my stuff.
You should be taking notes.
Rule number two, never set foot on my half of the room.
St: How do I get out of here?
DJ: Easy. You jump off the window and climb down the tree.
St: I don't think so.
DJ: Suit yourself.
St: I'll find a way out.
Da: Stephanie, what are you doing?
St: Just hanging around.
Da: Come on honey, get down from there.
Jo: Alright. Limbo. Dekalakapuka... No way.
DJ: This is a nightmare.
Da: Uh, DJ honey.
I told you everything is gonna work out super great.
I'm sorry. I've got to get down to the station.
Try to watch my sports report this afternoon.
Today starts my special two-part series entitled boxers.
Highly skilled athletes or bullies in shorts.
St: Can I have a piggyback ride?
Da: Sure, honey. Hop on.
Alright, now the baby schedule's on the refrigerator.
You guys can handle this, can't you?
Jo: Sure, we'll take care of the kids.
St: I told you I'd find the way out.
Mi: --- crying ---
Jo: Oh, Michelle, little baby, wavy. What's the matter?
Uncle Jessie, what are we gonna do?
Je: You first stop talking like a munchkin.
Mi: --- crying ----
Je: Hey, shut up.
Jo: Wait. I'll handle this.
I'm a comic, it's my non-paying job to cheer people up.
Hi, Michelle, it's me Kermit the frog.
You don't want to cry, do you?
Mi: --- crying ----
Jo: Ah, hi, it's me Peewee Harman, ha, ha,
do you want to go to my play house? Ha, ha.
Mi: --- crying ----
Jo: Wait, she'll love it, I call it "the sprinkler".
Tougharoon.(?) Jesse, what if she needs to be ..uh.. changed.
Je: Check it out. Go.
Jo: We have a winner. Now what?
Je: Joseph. Put yourself in her place. What would you want done.
Jo: I've never changed a diaper.
Je: Me neither. You see? You touched one.
All right, look, I'll show you, how it's done.
Come here child. You believe this guy? Make yourself useful.
Jo: I'll take the south end.
JJ: One step, two step, one step, two step….
Je: O.K Good. Look out.
Jo: O.K. Keep her coming.
St: Show time!
Je : Where will we put the baby? Where will we put the child.
Jo : Uh… the pot, over here.
Je : Ooooo, wow, Joey, this is a living thing,
you don't stick in the pot, use a meat rack.
Jo : I'm an idiot.
Je : Come on,
Jo : O.K.
Je : All right, good. Settle down here, here we go.
St : Are you gonna cook Michelle?
Jo : We're changing her diaper.
St : Oh, then how do you roast a turkey.
Je : Steph, Joey and I are busy. Joey, strip her.
All right, careful there.
You're in control. All right. slide it off and... Oh!
Jo : Uh... Uh...
Je : Good thinking, Joey, keep it fresh.
Jo : O.K. Hold her up, I'll clean her up.
Je : Good idea. Come on, Michelle. All right.
You're missing, you're missing. You're missing.
All right come on, gently now, gently now, gently....
There we go. This is great, we should be mothers.
Jo : Oh, yeah.
Je : I'll just dry her up.
Jo : O.K. Fan her.
Je : *********.
Jo : *********.
Jo : You know these babies have it made(?),
I would kill for this kind of service.
Je : All right, diapers.
Jo : Diaper.
Je : Where are dippers? Diapers, diapers…
Jo : Diapers, diapers, … Hey, super absorbent.
Je : Bring it over. O.K. Now, what?
Jo : O.K. Spin her.
Je : Spin her
Jo : Spin her.
Je : All right, now, wrap her up in this, come on.
Put her right in here.
Jo : It's too easy. works for me.
Je : And hey, (if) you spill some juice on the counter?
Jo : Just wipe it up with "Baby Tidy Bar".(?)
St : Not bad, but next time try these.
Je : Steph, why do you tell now there are dippers.(?)
St : Nobody asked me.
メリッサが訪れるところを飛ばして、
５０秒後、ステフがジェシーにバレリーナをねだるところ。
S: Hi, uncle Jesse. Ready for more ballerina?
J: Uh.. we'll play it later, Okay?
S: Okay, it's later. Catch me.
J: Listen, why don't you go upstairs
and play ballerina with your big sister.
S: I can't. She moved out.
D: Stephanie, honey. What do you mean she moved out?
S: She's gone. She rolled up her crate paper and took off.
D: Okay, everybody follow me.
D: You lost my daughter? I went a work for seven hours
and you lost thirty three percent of my children?
Joey, call the police.
Jesse, start driving around our neighborhood.
I'm gonna call up DJ's friends.
S: And I'll go get DJ.
D: Stephanie, honey?
S: Yes, daddy.
D: Sweetheart, do you know where DJ is?
S: Uh-huh.
D: Why didn't you say something sooner?
S: Nobody asked me.
Da: DJ, can I talk to you?
DJ: Kimmy, hang on. I'm talking to Kimmy Gibbler.
She called me on her own phone from her own room.
She has three sisters.
Da: DJ, you don't want to live in the garage.
It's filthy, it's stuffy.
DJ: You want some fresh air.
Da: Dona Jo, I want you back inside right now this instant.
Is that OK?
DJ: No, thank you dad. So Kimmy, where were we?
Je: Nice job, dad. You've been reading Cosby's book...
Jo: Cosby? I'll handle this.
No, there's small child like bosom.
If you move back into the house,
you're gonna have a big juicy bowl of jello.
DJ: No, Kimmy. That's not really him. I'll call you later..
ほんの少しだけ空いて、、、
２５秒後・・・居間にて。
Je: All right, D.J. is moving back in.
Da: She is? That's fantastic! What did you do?
Je: I have a very special way with kids.
Da: Jesse, hang on, Vanessa is not upstairs.
Je: Where's Vanessa?
Da: Well...Uh...
St: She's history.
Je: What a hell did you do with Vanessa?
Da: I didn't do anything with her.
I just told her there were three little girls in the house,
I thought it would be better if she slept on the couch.
And she left.
Je: You hate me, don't you.
Da: D.J.!
Je: Oo.. wow. Wow. Vanessa is gone. The deal is off.
I want my money back.
Da: What money?
DJ: The money uncle Jesse paid me to move back in.
Da: That's your special way with children, you buy them off?
Je: It works. Kid! Money.
DJ: Fine, I have a rich source of income,
go back to my new room and have a garage sale.
Da: D.J. Wait. D.J. Here, take Michelle. Come with me, honey.
Je: Don't even think about it.
Da: D.J., honey, I can't let you have a garage sale.
DJ: What if I give you ten percent of the profits?
Da: D.J., come here.
Can't you just try sharing your room with your sister?
Your mom was always so good at this stuff?
I came home form work, and everything was always perfect.
D.J., how would mom have handled this?
DJ: She would have caught me before I moved into the garage.
Mom knew every thing I did before I did it.
Da: What is it, honey?
DJ: It's just not fair. First I lose my mom, then grandma leaves,
now I even lose my own room? Everything keeps disappearing.
Da: I know exactly how you feel.
And I know how much you girls miss your mother,
because I miss her too, very much. But you still you got me.
St: You got me, too.
Da: You got Michelle, and you're having uncle Jesse, and Joey.
D.J., we're still a family.
Now is when we really need to stick together.
D.J, you and I, we will go back a long time, 10 years.
The Ten happiest years of my life.
So look, it's up to you.
Either you move back inside, or all five of us move into the garage.
But nothing is gonna break up this team.
DJ: I'll move back in
Da: I love you angel. You, too, little ballerina.
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